Eleanor Roosevelt once said great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people. I wonder what Eleanor would say about today’s state of human conversation?
The internet and fake news have wreaked havoc on how humans think, process information, and converse with each other. What is “knowledge” in today’s world, and how can we locate factual information amidst the cesspool of junk we call the internet? Conversations used to contain an interplay of differing ideas and opinions formed from real-life experiences and books. We would talk and listen, interpret and assimilate. Our brains were active and we would think about what was said in conversations with each other, possibly even deciding on an action plan.
Today, we live in a virtual world that is manufactured and easy to comprehend. Our brains no longer have to work or think, and we have forgotten how to listen. Humans are caught up in an echo chamber of repetitious internet noise. We continuously argue fake facts as we become more polarized and detached from each other.
From a very young age, in the absence of attentive parents, children as a default form unhealthy attachments to devices. Isolation secondary to screens has resulted in the “triple disconnect” — from self, others, and nature. We no longer know who we are or what we want. Instead of role modelling healthy social behaviours and human connection and interaction, adults put a phone in front of their face and model disconnection.
The screen has become an interface between self, others, and nature and effectively blocks human connection while impairing social development on a wide scale. Children create fake personas which they hide behind, projecting false images that further erode their development of self, individuality, and sustainable social communication.
All is not lost. Human beings are pack animals, and we survive and live best when we are not isolated from our pack. A child’s pack is comprised primarily of family, friends, and classmates. More time spent together without screens will ensure sustainable futures for all.
While we are told by the tech industry that screens improve socialization, it turns out they do anything but. We are a society that is mentally sicker than we have ever been. One in five children between the ages of 8 and 18 now has a diagnosed mental illness. Over 50% of adults are on some form of psychotropic medication, including antipsychotics, antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, sedatives, and stimulants. The only people winning in this game are the tech and pharmaceutical industries.
So what can we do to reverse this worrisome trend? Take a deep breath. Put down your phone. Pick up your children and re-experience the art of listening. It’s not that hard. Instead of talking about other people or current events, share your ideas with each other. Ask questions. Listen.
Tell each other what you actually think, not what you’ve heard or watched. Stop believing you need facts to have conversations when facts are so difficult to find. Quit arguing and hating. Start listening and loving. You’ll be a much happier person.
Below are a few suggestions to help you get started on the road to active listening and rediscovering your true self.
1. Discover Silence
Turn off device notifications and put them in a drawer. Turn off anything that makes a sound. Light a candle and sit in the silence and stillness you have created. Breathe. Drop deep into your soul and discover who you really are. Through meditation and quiet moments, your dreams and aspirations will reveal themselves.
Share your newly found self with others and ask them about themselves. This can be as simple as, “Tell me one good and one bad thing about your day,” or, “What’s your favourite food? Let’s make that together.” No longer are you polarized into an echo chamber of your own making.
2. Read Books
At first, you may find it difficult to concentrate, but soon you will become enraptured and enlightened by the written word. You will have adventures and travel to far-off lands. Journal your thoughts on paper and let your mind speak to you through writing. You will begin to develop your own thoughts, opinions, and ideas, creating a wealth of things to talk about with friends, coworkers, and family.
3. Go Outside
Nature is a wonderful healer and the best “bang for buck” cure for internet addiction. It is sensory-soothing and activates the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, lowering adrenaline and cortisol. Feel the grass, rocks, or sand. Smell shrubs, flowers, and bark. Run and feel the ground rise up to meet your feet. See the birds, buildings, and sky.
Close your eyes and touch everything. Hug a tree. Hug each other. No matter where you are — rural or inner city — simply opening a window and taking three deep breaths can make you feel so much better.
