Disconnect to Reconnect – The #1 key to happiness and longevity of life

Every time we connect with a screen, we disconnect from the humans who surround us. The screen becomes an interface prohibiting human connection, and consequently should be considered an ‘anti-social’ device as when a person picks up a screen, people in the vicinity either do the same, or leave. There is significant research showing the detrimental effects of screen time, and in particular social media, on the quality of human relationships. A 2021 study¹ showed that excessive social media use leads to relationship conflicts, negative outcomes and screen addiction. Another 2021 study² found that 59% of participants reported prolonged use of social media had impacted their social interactions, negatively affecting family relationships and friendships while also making face-to-face communication more difficult. Screens used for long durations in isolation, perpetuate feelings of separateness and subsequent loneliness³. Screens grossly limit face-to-face conversations, making it extremely difficult to sustain or enhance human relationships. Screen use can result in social disorders such as social anxiety, social phobia, or agoraphobia, as the user doesn’t receive adequate amounts of social communication to develop social skill competence and confidence. As every partner, parent, teacher and co-worker knows, human relationships take considerable work and time to grow and blossom. Time spent in front of screens displace time spent in relationship building and erodes the very foundation required for achieving quality human connections. This article profiles research from the Harvard Adult Development Study⁴ showing that human connection is the #1 determinant for happiness and longevity of life. ‘Social fitness’ is defined and filling out below “Sources of Support in My Life” chart guides readers toward identifying the quality of social support in their lives. The purpose of this exercise is to encourage readers to put down the phone and take a close and long look at the people who surround them, not only in the hopes that they can begin to value and prioritize human connection over screens, but also so they can begin to experience true happiness, health and longevity of life.

In 1938, Harvard researchers¹ embarked on a decades-long study⁴ to find out what makes humans happy in life. The researchers gathered health records from 724 participants from all over the world and asked detailed questions about their lives at two-year intervals. This research is now in its second phase as researchers interview original participants children. Contrary to what you might think, it’s not money, achievement, sex, exercise, healthy diet…it’s not smoking, using drugs or alcohol that makes us happy or unhappy. The most consistent finding discovered through 85 years of study is that healthy relationships keep us happier, and healthier, and help us live longer. Contrast this life-affirming information with what we already covered about the detrimental impact of screen time on relationships, for a good grasp on what is really going on today with human disconnection. In addition to relationship issues, studies also show that escalating use of screens by children and youth has resulted in physical impairments including developmental delay, obesity/diabetes, myopia and sleep deprivation; emotional problems comprised of aggression, poor self-regulation; social disorders such as social phobias, speech delays and isolation; mental illnesses including depression, anxiety, autism, suicide and addiction; and cognitive deterioration inclusive of attention deficit, learning difficulties, poor grades, truancy and early drop-out. It’s a time of reckoning in home, school, clinic and workplace setting and the writing is clearly on the wall. We need to grossly curtail our use of screens if we are to survive and thrive in this world.